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Don't Compete With Him if You Want to be Complete With Him!

By: Lynn Thomas

Anyone who has ever been in a relationship will agree that it is difficult. Being locked in competition with your partner makes things infinitely more of a challenge. Once this vicious cycle begins, your relationship is in big trouble. By practicing a little damage control as soon as this problem starts can save an otherwise doomed relationship.

Who is susceptible to this sort of problem? Ambitious people, who tend to be drawn to one another, can find this competition destroying their relationship if they are not careful. If you are asking yourself if this is a problem in your relationship, it may already have gotten to a point of no return. Rori Raye has a term she calls "boy energy," which describes the type of energy that you use to accomplish great things. She tells us women to leave it out of our relationships with men, for this precise reason: it can destroy everything you have worked for.

When he starts to pull away from you, avoiding activities that involve competition, you can be sure that there is a problem. This could be as simple as a card game with friends at a dinner party, or even something as harmless as the jog you take together in the evening. If he begs off activities like this, chances are that something is up.

Despite the natural confidence of a competitive man, it doesn't take much to throw his game off. There are a lot of ways of doing this, from talking over him to being a sore loser when he wins. If you make him feel as though you are his rival, his sense of place in your life is threatened.

The reason why this is so destructive to an otherwise healthy relationship is that the role you play in his life should be one of love, respect, and acceptance. When he feels that these things are threatened, he begins to doubt the stability of your relationship, and his confidence is challenged. These seeds of doubt can make a relationship unravel.

You should begin to focus on solutions as soon as you recognize this as a problem. Instead of asking what his problem is, you need to ask what your problem is. The need to take away the glory from your partner and claim it as your own is actually an indication of insecurity. Only when you have reconciled this issue with yourself will you be willing and able to give freely the praise and respect that he needs from you.

If you take this relationship advice to heart as soon as you realize that there is a rift in your relationship, you stand a chance of resolving these issues. By putting yourself in his shoes, you can better understand the problem. Competition is a natural part of life, but it should not be a part of your love life! By saving your competitive energy for when it counts, and offering him the love, acceptance, and respect he deserves, you can turn your competitive relationship into one of mutual support.

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